I’m writing this blog in a state of emotional and physical shock at the events in Grand Designs this evening. It’s only been on for 20 minutes, and much like in the film Up, you were hit ten minutes in with the death of one of the lead couple. Worse still, he was not that much older than me.
Had a funny old day again. Had a weird meeting again today. Social workers unable to tell me anything at all really. But it still took an hour to discuss that. It’s amazing how time can just disappear as you try to get your head around things. I don’t know how I ever coped before having regular holidays. I need another one. It’s so maudlin, you only deal with the worst of things. There are times that can be great. My new case I’m madly in love with I must admit. I always love the start of things, they are juicy and exciting. That’s when you get the madness, as it’s so close to the situation that lead you into this invasive, impersonal judicial arena. You get the drunkenness, the irrational ranting, the Jeremy Kyle-like shouting and drama. It often feels Kyle-esque when I’m ordering DNA testing.
I went to the gym again. Running was on the schedule today. I was struggling until I discovered a couple of power songs via MTV. I’m sorry to say I was loving Nicole Scherzinger and Enrique Iglesias. And I was also loving Cheryl Cole. But the creme de la creme was Joe McElderry. It’s a proper X Factor factory pop playlist that I loved, but I was so happy. I’m so typically gay. I really feel I should wear a bare midriff t shirt when working out and maybe I should get my belly button pierced. But maybe not.
Pete did his signature tea of baked salmon. Really enjoyed it, and it was protein rich. That’s what I need, given my toast/sandwich/pasta carb heavy dote of late. I should start planning these things better. I have watched enough supersize vs superskinny/ you are what you eat/biggest loser over the years that I just simply must have these rules somewhere in my brain but just choose to forget them and eat Malteasers instead. I can seed no pleasure in eating a handful of almonds as a mid morning snack. In fairness I prefer an apple which is just as good for me. But mid afternoon, on one of those days which feels bloody relentless and never ending, I can think of nothing more like metaphorically spitting in your eye than having to eat dried apricots as my mid afternoon pick me up. Sod that, I need a yogurt, and none of that tummy loving care shite. Not that I’m allowed them, as pro-biotic yogurts are banned from the Adam and Pete fridge.
Tonight is an emotional roller coaster. Waterloo Road made me cry. Grand Designs is making me emotionally fraught. What next? Ten o clock news going to finish me off? Who knows. Stay tuned. Ina made caesar salad and lemon bars tonight. That didn’t make me cry. That was the food calm before the human emotion storm. I’m exhausted now. Off to rest my tear stained eyes.
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