Up in the clouds, above some unknown part of the Atlantic Ocean, here I sit next to some grumpy French family who it appears like nothing more than to invade the personal space and perforate the ear drums of others.
The daughter is about two, and has a hell of a scream. I dropped my red wine right in my crotch the first time I heard this noise. It reminded me of the velociraptors in Jurassic Park. Horrendous. I have been having an ongoing battle with the child next to me for domination of the arm rest. I don’t mind sharing, but he has a tendency to lean. On me. I don’t allow children to lean on me unless I consent.
I have just endured Twilight Eclipse with a crying child in the background. Now I’m watching Sex and the City 2 with interference on the tv screen. Annoying. I’m over getting annoyed. I have a red wine stained crotch, I have endured 24 hours of grumpy irritated people in the service industry, it couldn’t get worse. I really think the UK has a terrible attitude towards customer service. When I asked the concierge where we could eat other than the restaurant he asked me why would I not eat at their restaurant. I said it’s all you can eat for 25 quid. It’s overpriced. He told me I was wrong. I cannot fathom a world where people disagree with my own thoughts. It’s just bizarre. I really do think we have set the natives of Chicago the lowest bar to exceed. If someone just offers me a mint after dinner and wishes me a good day I think it’ll cry with gratitude.
I had a nightmare over the inflight meal. I really didn’t want braised beef. It would have been the third time since Sunday and I’m not that beefy in the scheme of things. No pun intended, I’m more of a pork man. Bacon, chorizo, I’m your man. Beef, not so much. I was offered the choice of beef or chicken tikka, I said chicken tikka. The guy walked off and I was left sans meal. I didn’t know what to do. I went to the loo quickly, and there upon my return was a tray with beef on it. I immediately flinched with a weird default of I don’t eat beef to the cabin crew. I was offered nothing initially. I had to stand there slightly incredulous. Eventually I got what was chewy risotto. How can you make a spinach risotto chewy? It happened. When I asked if I could have a drink you’d have thought I had asked to sleep with the captain. Outrageous suggestion. Finally I got dinner.
Will get back to you later in the flight. Back to the inflight movie.
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