I thought I would kill time in court by updating my blog with my emotional journey since the last post. I think I ultimately made myself a bit of an emotional wreck by indulging my low mood and writing about it, although in the long run it was probably more cathartic as it got the emotions out and allowed me to move on a bit!
Rock bottom was hit whilst in M and S Food Hall. I was buying the two dine for £10 offer, if you are at all interested i went for a chicken, potato and leek bake side, tiramisu and a bottle of red. As I reached for the wine, I dropped the side dish, and as I turned to pick the side up knocked two bottles of red off the shelf. Mortified. I stood paralysed by my shame, then just burst into tears. No lie. The woman from the shop stood and looked at me, looked at the wine and just looked like she had no idea which to try and mop up first, the wine or the emotional drip of a 30 year old in front of her.
I bought my stuff and cleared off out of there sharpish. But chuckled as I did. It was quite nice to have had that moment as I realised it’s totally not worth being an emotional mess just for it to destroy me before it has begun. So I have snapped out of it a bit.
I’m also now with a Plan B. And the plan involves indulging my passion for baking. If I’m one of life’s unfortunates then I will book myself a course to train as a pastry chef and in the art of baking. I will learn what I want to learn, and maybe take that forward. That way I can at least sooth my soul whilst picking up the pieces.
So here I am. I toasted my plan over a £5 burger and remarkably cheap wine in All Bar One last night. There was also an additional gift in they there was a black tie event on in Sheffield so here were ill fitting formal dresses a plenty to marvel over!
So that dear world is that. Hoping to see the gorgeous Holly, my Nan’s puppy tomorrow. Love her. And my friends in Birmingham for a catch up. On 24 duty so will need to be on the wagon mind. Hopeful of blogging. Stay hopeful, that’s my mantra.
Oh and remind me to tell you all of my fave article in Good Housekeeping this month. It’s amazing!