The title is effectively the ending . There you go, no spoiler alert for me. I give it you all in one go. Like the trailer for 12 Wishes Of Christmas where you saw the girl having Christmas dinner with the Hispanic guy from the dog shelter saying “eggnog” whilst Andrea Zuckerman cuddled her asthmatic child.
I have once again submitted to my mundaneness. I stayed in all weekend. Well, except for today where I went to Waitrose and it was the greatest test of my patience ever. I was invited to South Yorkshire’s premiere LGBT club night climax by friends, but I had a sore ankle from my mincing running and I was in any event more excited about spatchcocking a chicken and watching a terrible film. I loved it. Ok Welcome to the Punch was shite so I made blueberry jam instead but it was all shades of super.
Saturday morning came around. I cleaned the house whilst listening to the delectable Yotam Ottolenghi on Radio 4. I made a sourdough which failed to rise, oddly. And a simple flatbread dough that rises like it was the porridge in that Magic Porridge Pot storybook from Ladybird I had as a kid.
I was clad in my delicious fleece dressing gown until well past the responses to Grill Graham on radio 2. This was a controversial choice as Pete was in the shed and was bringing things to and from the door. On at least two occasions he had to remind me to tighten my belt due to accidental airings of items of a private nature. I soon slipped into a vest and shorts due to the sun outside lending a spring like quality to the day. Springlike, yet as soon as I ventured outside the superficial nature of this glory was exposed. Freezing. Although a good day to dry your laundry.
Pete cracked on with the kitchen, finally shifting shelves in my larder unit and fitting a few more due to the over generous proportions Mereway gave us. I mean, I wasn’t wanting space to stack three turkeys. It was excessive. I now have an entire shelf for my cookie cutters. I’m in heaven. I also rearranged a few things. My tea towels are now in the much mocked tea towel unit. Didn’t order it, delivered and not required, but left due to it’s bespoke construction, it’s now a glorious addition. Love it. That means the tea towel draw is now my veg box draw. And I now have a shelf for daphne food and treats. As she deserves.
Daphne was a pain in the arse today. I was trying to crack on with my devils food cake when she decided to keep coming to the back door to be let in. I’d approach, open the door, she’d bugger off. You over look this pattern a remarkable number of times and keep going to let her in. I must say it was about 12 times. After the 6th or 7th time I lost patience a tad and keep telling her to piss off. As I stood there like Harvey Nicholls door man offering her an entry into the house. Eventually I left her to it. Resolute she would have to stay out and to hell with her. It lasted 2 minutes then I got the biscuit tin and enticed her in with a vanilla wafer as I didn’t want her out in the cold till all hours.
So back to Saturday. Amy came over for fizz and Nashville and Parks and Recreation. Our mutual loves. I decided to do all the things I was jonesing that day and everything I had the ingredients for in the house seeing as I hadn’t had a bath, wasn’t wearing anything I wanted people to see me in and an a tad skint. So I made crushed lentils with tahini a la Yotam, Eggs in Purgatory and Peanut Butter Hummus a la Nigella and Flatbreads a la the River Cottage Handbook. Holy moly. Washed down with Prosecco a la Sainsburys it was awesome.
It’s a great combo. The spicy tomato sauce gently bleeds into the creamy lentils but they both retain their purity. And the flatbreads are the perfect vessel for both.
We drank a couple of bottles until we hit what Amy described as the Prosecco wall. This came partway through my choice of film- Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. I love that film. I miss the 90’s. Such a simpler time. Imagine if impressiveness could be measured in whether you have a flip phone or not. I miss flip phones. The Motorola Razr was a favourite. As much as I enjoy my iPhone, I feel the Razr gave a more discreet outline in skinny jeans. Plus flip phones belong to a time when your phone was a phone. I feel the least reliable feature on my iPhone is it’s capacity to make and receive calls. Alexander Graham Bell is pissing himself laughing somewhere no doubt.
The night ended when out of nowhere my face exploded in a ball of snot. Well, I seemed to grow quickly and violently congested and every sneeze became the much feared snot sneeze. Not the discreet air rush sneeze but the minging “hold on to your tissue” snotty horrible sneeze. I still feel like nasty snotty mess. However Lemsip max strength is helping me through for approximately 3 hours at a time before redosing so let’s hear it for those guys *round of applause from my sofa whilst stuffing my tissue nana-like into my sleeve*.
The stuffed nose and feeling sorry for myself led me to make the devils food cake. I’m not a big chocolate cake fan. I would never ever order it. But I have enjoyed it immensely as a rare indulgence. It is what it is- a moist, darkly sweet chocolate cake with a soft rich icing. It calls like a Siren to me to have another slice but I know if regret it. The good thing about being poorly is your appetite goes. I’ve only had two meals a day for 2 days. It’s sort of making up for the fact my run hasn’t happened today. I’ve booked onto spinning tomorrow. Fingers crossed I’m fit enough! It not, fingers crossed I’m appetite-free. I have 3/4 of a cake with an obscene amount of butter and 3 big bars of Lindt in it. It could go terribly wrong for my midriff.
Hope all is well with you and yours. In current Pete and Daphne news, Pete is shopping for hooks to hang aprons on. Daphne is on my lap. She sends her regards.
Feel free to comment, or e mail or tweet @adsmills or whatever. I’m usually seeking distraction amidst the workday hullabaloo.
Blog soon everyone x
– Fuelled by Waitrose, inspired by Ina, Team Nigella since she deep fried a Bounty