A Late Night Note

Long day. Very long day.

Cold starting to abate so I’m planning on my return to exercise. Run in the morning planned as I’m off dog duty. I have a Cottage pie in the oven whilst I watch First Dates. A simple concept for a show bringing me much much pleasure.

It’s hilarious to watch as certain aspects of it remind me of my life. Saying the wrong things, awkward comments, dry conversations, too much chemistry, no chemistry whatsoever……. Been there, done that. Tonight the girl with the tattoos was very familiar to me. Bold, brash, up front. Defence defence defence. I’ve done that so much. You try to be the funny guy, the interesting type, sparky. Instead I probably came across as a right dickhead.

Sometimes I feel the need to catch myself and remind the current incarnation of me of real life. I may be older, I may consider myself wiser, but perhaps my perspective on such matters is only like us sitting and judging The Voice contestants from our sofas. I know as much about vocal ability as I do mandarin. And I know as much about Chinese culture as I do about modern dating.

I wonder what dating is like now. As someone who doesn’t have to do it, it looks marvellously simple. I mean, people just download an app, stick a shirtless photo on, and the locals can see them. Marvellous. You don’t even need to get washed and changed and sit around a bar trying to be alluring. You don’t need to arrange a date and sit there for hours trying to figure out if your date is there as he or she doesn’t have a photo. I did that once or twice.

You also don’t have to meet someone in Selfridges like I did once only to discover you dated several months earlier and he’s already dumped you. Via MSN Messenger. At the time I was cutting edge. I also met someone who insisted we pop to see if his flat was ready for letting, only for him to bolt the door behind him and for there to be a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the side. If he hasn’t bolted the door, and posted a photo where he was at least 4 stone lighter on the website, I probably would have given him what he sought but instead I text my safe word to my mate Sarah and got an important ” work call”. Now don’t get me wrong we do important work at the council, but never so much that you have to flee an afternoon off.

Would I be different now? Probably not. Over optimistic at times, pessimistic at others. The only difference is that age does temper you. I wouldn’t take every hit as badly. And let’s face it, so much tamer is my life these days. Surely this sleeping beauty would ease my lonely nights.

Or would I be so calm? To be 34 and single may be the worst ego blow ever. Well, my hypothetical stress is a slight waste of time isn’t it. No such worries.

Elsewhere in life, Patrick Grant from The Great British Sewing Bee stirs my loins like no other. Hotter than a hot hot thing. And as a result I have had to turn my telly off to calm down. Woo.

And may I recommend that you read my friend Sara’s recent blog post on the plight of our independent eateries over at Girl Eats Sheffield as it’s incredibly poignant stuff after I watched the equally handsome Russell Norman on The Restaurant Man. I hadn’t realised that one in three fail. It’s an insane statistic, but when you think about how many change hands, change names, how many places once flavour of the month come and go? It isn’t so hard to comprehend.

Its pretty indicative of a society led by a rather blinkered, elitist Tory government, who let hard work and initiative go by the way side because corporations are shielded and allowed to monopolise markets by paying suppliers a pittance and pricing competitors out the market by loss leading voucher codes and loyalty card partnerships. But in a country where the cost of living is rising whilst salaries remain stagnant, how can joe public be blamed for economically led decision making?

It’s only when you realise that seemingly cheaper doesn’t actually help the economy, as on the economy of scale this exacerbates many of the issues affecting income. Through taxation being lost through corporate tax avoidance, local businesses not obtaining custom due to central supplying, employment opportunities locally generally being capped at minimum wage and through imported management driven by centralised recruitment and the general sense of community localisation allows an area not being fostered, it’s only then that you realise where you “grab a quick bite” can make a huge difference.

And on that note I’m off to bed.

Sleep well folks and ill blog soon. Promise x

– Follower of the one true faith- Gartenism

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